Why do people bully others? Is there a specific age group for these bullies and their victims? These questions may seem easy to answer and not so broad a spectrum, but in my opinion, that is not true. Each situation involving someone bullying another person or group of people is different for the most part. Sometimes the bullying can be to make the bully feel powerful, because the victim(s) look or act different, the bully themselves are being bullied by someone else, maybe even by someone within their own family.
With that said, I don’t feel that there is a specific age group for either someone who bullies another, or someone who is bullied. When I was younger I was bullied, at school and at home. I thought at the time that it only happened to children, and that it would stop when I got older, but I was wrong. The bullying didn’t stop until about ten years ago. Bullying in my life became abuse. In my opinion, they are one in the same. It is a physical, mental and emotional action and reaction. It’s behavioral.
The bullying started in elementary school. I didn’t dress like everyone else, didn’t act like everyone else and that made me a target. Being poor in a town mainly populated by the super rich also makes you a target for bullying and harassing. As I got older, my faith made me a target as well as the difference in clothes and behaviors. A sibling of mine also used to bully me as a child and a couple of times as a teenager and adult.
This type of treatment from others and feeling that I had nowhere to turn for support, increased my hatred of myself and the town that I grew up in. I thought that once I left that town things would get better for me and for my two kids, but they only got worse. Their father was a bully, abuser in almost every sense of the word. Again, I thought that if I get away from the town and the situation that life would be better. Not! Yes, at first, life was good, but when my ex husband decided that he wanted to finally show his true colors, I found out how wrong I was. He was more of an emotional and psychological bully. Once again, I leave the town and the situation with miles between me and the bully just to wind up in an even worse situation. What was the patter? In all honesty, I don’t know, even to this day. It took me a very long time to stop looking over my shoulders. To stop seeing those bullies in the faces of those around me.
Sometimes the scars from the past, never really leave us. Sometimes, we have to find our faith and be brave enough to face our past, and face our demons. Twenty years later without a word from my two older kids father, he surfaces on the internet and back to trying to bully me. Although, I was nervous at first, I saw through the lies, and having a stronger faith and network has really helped me to face this ghost from my past.
It seems that in our society today bullying in school and out of school has increased and expanded to the computer world. I feel sad when I hear the stories of others who have been so victimized that they saw no hope, no alternative for themselves and ended it. This should never happen or be an option. I worry about my two little grand-daughters and pray every day that they never experience bullying.