Dear Grammy and Dad

I miss you both.

You have both impacted my life in so many ways.

Grammy, I know that your in a better place, and maybe that is why I should be happy for you 100 %, but honestly, I don’t know. Mostly, I think it is guilt that my life in the past 15 years was filled with blindness, ignorance, and taking you and life itself for granted. I had blinders on and was only focused on my immediate family and the problems at the time. I forgot about you, all that you taught me, all that you meant to me, and I’m sorry. I’m glad that mom and I could see you last month before you left us to see God. I’m grateful that he gave us that opportunity. you will always be my Grammy and God’s right hand woman, and I love you.

Dad, I’m sorry that I didn’t [ick up the phone when you called. I was between scared to believe that you really wanted to talk to me and angry. Angry because you never seemed to care about me or my kids. After 20 years of trying to get you to pay attention and love me, love my girls, why did I think that you would change. I honestly didn’t really believe that you were dying. You always seemed to invincible. Why couldn’t you love me and my girls? Why were we not enough? Sometimes, I wish that I could back to that moment when you called me just a few months before you died, and pick up the phone so I could ask you these questions and hear you tell me that you do love me and always have.

Maybe your in heaven with God and Grammy, and then I can ask you.

Advertisements

About jazzyjenness

I'm the mother of three girls, a Grammy to two little girls, a girlfriend and we have a cat with many nick names, depending on his mood and activity, or lack thereof. I've been writing since I was about 8 or 9, and it is something that I love to do. When we read books, we do it for entertainment, escape, and education; the three E's. These are also the reasons why I write, to entertain, educate and escape. My desire is not just to do what I love, but I want to give hope and inspiration to others through my stories. Currently, I am working on obtaining my Master's degree in Creative Writing and hope to also become an instructor at my school one day and teach Fiction Workshop.
This entry was posted in Those Gone and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s